It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
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Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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