I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
