so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
