I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize