p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
