youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
