Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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