i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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