Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
