think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
