Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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