why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
