If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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