My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
