I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
