Screwed.edu
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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