I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
