wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
