Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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