he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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