You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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