Threesome in a minivan. New low
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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