Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
