just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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