No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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