She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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