Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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