Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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