Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
