How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
