You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
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By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
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went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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