Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
