You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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