You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
