I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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