..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
