ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize