The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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