i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
