You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize