the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
