Duck Duck Cougar?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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