Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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