Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
