is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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