its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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