Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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