I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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