I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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