only you would photoshop your dick
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
