The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
