You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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