i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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