I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize